I Left My Ex A Drunken Voicemail And Accidentally Created Drake’s New Single

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Not again.

Last night I drank too much, I took more shots to the head than JFK in a motorcade. Then I got a little too emotional and I left my ex a voicemail.

The next morning I woke up and realized that I recorded it, gave it a sick beat and sent it to Drizzy himself. Now it’s#1 on Apple Music.

It happens to the best of us.

Drunk voicemails are a sacred national tradition, as American as apple pie or school shootings. But Drake doesn’t get enough credit for the fact that he singlehandedly revolutionized drunk voicemails back in 2011.

Typically, the official protocol is that there are 3 different types of drunk voicemails when you’re calling your ex.

  1. ANGRY (“Fuck you, I hope you’re happy with Jonathan.”)
  2. ROMANTIC (“I miss you, I can treat you better than Jonathan.”)
  3. SEXUAL (“Come over, I wanna fuck you… and Jonathan.”)

But Drake changed the game when he dropped Marvin’s Room back in 2011, otherwise known as The Official Drunk Voicemail Anthem™️.

There’s a lot of debate about whether it’s ok to kneel during the national anthem. I think it’s fine to kneel during the anthem but you should NEVER kneel during Marvin’s Room, stand up and show some respect for this country.

But please, take this is a cautionary tale and drink responsibly. Otherwise you might end up on a 🔥🔥🔥 track next week.

I was too drunk to drive, so my friend Erik gave me a ride back to my house. He pulled up in his car and said “just Hold On, We’re Going Home.”

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