Skylar, local self-proclaimed “intersectional feminist”, spent approximately 180 minutes at a party this weekend explaining “mansplaining” to a girl he met.
It’s a new world record, according to Flannel Magazine.
Skylar, who brews his own beer and takes improv classes, makes sure to always wait until there’s a woman in the room to talk about feminism. He goes on rants about rape culture and the wage gap and makes sure he talks extra loud so all the women in his vicinity can hear how enlightened he is. His beanie costs $150 and he wants talk to you about privilege.
Before taking a shot of Jack Daniels, Skylar made sure to ask if this particular bottle of Jack Daniels was vegan, assumedly unaware that all Jack Daniels is vegan. He then angrily exclaimed that the whiskey industry is misogynistic because “why can’t it be Jacklyn Daniels?”
He then ranted to a girl named Sofia about how Trump is ruining our country but quickly changed the subject when he was reminded that he voted for Gary Johnson in a swing state. He also told her about the screenplay he’s working on about a depressed lesbian visiting Europe. He kept eagerly waiting for a chance to say “this actually reminds me of a Charles Bukowski quote..”
According to witnesses, Skylar then proceeded to talk to Sofia about feminism for approximately 3 hours, detailing the importance of non-exclusionary intersectional feminism. He ranted about the toxicity of straight white men and he even explained the definition of “mansplaining”. Sofia casually agreed to all his points in attempts to escape the conversation. She allegedly only got 27 words in throughout the whole interaction.
As the party was winding down, Skylar gave an angry speech to Sofia about how men only view women as sexual objects. He then asked “so…. do you wanna go back to my place?” Sofia awkwardly said “sorry, I’m not interested.” Skylar yelled “FUCK YOU” and stormed out.