Ranking Every Eminem Album By How Many Times He Says “Guess That’s Why They Call It Window Pain”
Eminem is a legend, but there’s one question has plagued his career for 2 decades: has Eminem ever rapped “now you get to watch her leave out the window, guess that’s why they call it window pain”?
It’s a brilliant lyric, so haters claim he never said it. But his supporters claim he’s said it dozens, perhaps even of hundreds of times. It’s time to get to the bottom of this.
Here’s my definitive ranking of every Eminem album, based on how many times he said “now you get to watch her leave out the window, guess that’s why they call it window pain” on them.
10. The Slim Shady LP
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero
Wow, so he’ll make a song about killing his wife and employing his 5 year old daughter to help dump the corpse in the ocean, but he’s too “sophisticated” to give us a little window pun for our troubles? A fucking fraud.
9. The Marshall Mathers LP
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero
On MMLP, Eminem took pride in how “edgy” and “offensive” he is, and yet he was already terrified of the astronomical corporate backlash and wreckless wrath he would recieve should he ever piss off the window industry. Coward.
8. The Eminem Show
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero
3 albums in and still no window pain. He’ll craft an entire song insulting his own mother, yet he honestly believes he’s too good for a little window-adjacent humor? The nerve of this guy.
7. Encore
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero
You’re not sick of this article yet? I mean, it’s essentially just repeating the same joke over and over.
6. Relapse
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero
He vomits indefensibly horrific lyrics like “fuck you with an umbrella and open it up while the shit’s inside ya” but for some reason he thought a cute little double entendre about window structure would have crossed the line.
5. The Marshall Mathers LP 2
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero
You’re still reading this? You’re patient. I appreciate the support.
4. Revival
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: I don’t know.
I forgot to check.
3. Kamikaze
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero.
An abrasive album full of vicious diss tracks, Eminem is ANGRY on this one. But ya know who’s even angrier? ME, that you’re still reading this article where I just keep repeating the same bit. You can’t possibly be enjoying this, can you?
2. Music To Be Murdered By
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: Zero.
I mean seriously, how far can I stretch this thin joke premise before you finaly X out of this article? Have some respect for yourself. Stop reading this. Text your mother and check on her, she’s stressed from the pandemic and she misses you.
1. Recovery
TIMES HE SAYS “WINDOW PAIN”: One.
Wait... It’s happening. It’s FINALLY happening. In the 2nd verse of “Love The Way You Lie” Eminem triumphantly proclaims “now you get to watch her leave out the window, guess that’s why they call it window pain.” Incredible.
BUT…… what the fuck does that even mean?
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Drew Landry is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Check out his critically acclaimed mini stand-up special ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD.
“A life-affirming 20-odd minutes that showcases Landry’s talent as a comedian… You’d be hard-pressed not to call up your best friend as soon as the credits roll.”
